Grey heart
by winter goddess yuki onna
Summary: Histora would never know the true name or nature of the girl who always came to visit her as she would erase her memory soon afterwards. Only Sina knew the reason why she came to visit her all most every day... even though she truly hated her. Sometimes, events of the past can be as painful as acid on the naked skin.


**So... has anybody else read the latest chapter of Attack on Titan yet? Well, heres my own head-cannon of who that girl is. As always part of my Grey stories. Hint. Look at my profile. * wink wink ***

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What was left of the girl who had once been known as Sina Moto had first become aware of Historia Reiss within Alex's own dreaming mind. It was not in any sort romantic way. Far from that. At least, not with her. She did not know why she was so drawn towards the girl in the world where she once lived. Maybe it was because she had her... no. It could never be. The Grey Goddess, Rhea was still within her, she could feel it. She would not forsake her for a girl like that. But... still she didn't know if she would be able to come back anymore. The choice she had made had been like a double edges sword. Ra was aware of this as he had warned her of that danger. But... as was everything in her life, she had not listened and had acted on her own selfish will. Though she had grown mentally. She knew that if she could not come back and her suspicions were proven to be true then this girl had to be ready to forever wear a mask of kindness amongst these wrong people. And, when the time was finally right, leave the Walls inhabited by the fallen behind and find the true humans so they might still find a way to right the wrongs that these fallen people had done.

However... Sina knew that if she appeared as what she had looked like once upon an age gone by Historia would no doubt ask her where she had come form. As there were no people of Asian descent living inside the inner most walls of her namesake. She did not want to know where they had gone. Only did she have the faintest idea what had happened to them. She had not wanted any questions like that to be asked by her. So, she had adopted the look of what Rhea had looked like. But without the elegant golden streaks running down on the sides of the black hair and different colored eyes. As they would no doubt scare this pathetic girl so wrongly schooled in what passed for Religion now a days. The wrong one that is. In short, she looked like her old/usual self had. Only... with more of the typical facial features of what Historia was used to seeing in the people around her.

When she had once looked at herself in the mirror in a nobleman's house that she had stolen into so she could see the fruits of her labor, she had seen the ugly, plane, typical, German face staring back at her. She also hated how her nose looked and the too high forehead. At least, that was what she had felt it looked like anyway. Only this time in all her life did she wish that she had been born with at least some of her mother's characteristics within her. She sighed heavily, deciding to quickly give her hair a quick brush over.

Sina remembered that she had quickly fled out the window, running a hand along her now neat hair she had looked towards the protruding walls and had heard that low and unmistakable low roar form within heard by no one but her. She could not help but smirk at the cruelty that these fallen humans could still possess. They knew what the titans were. At least, the ones who built the Walls did. They knew why the Titans had been created but they choose to ignore and hide from that reality.

Now she once again finds herself standing directly in front of the gate that separated the farm from the road, Sina sighed heavily knowing that despite how she might feel towards this particular girl she had to do this once again. She adjusted her straw hat and shoulder bag and climbed through the fence quickly finding the small girl sitting amongst the sweet...ish smelling hay.

Historia stiffened, and looked up form her book at the sound of someone approaching her. Scared that she had been caught slacking off. As Sina approached her she saw there was a look of slight confusion on her sickeningly sweet face. A face that reminded her so much like her own mother that it made her want to cry at the horror of it. In one simple movement she bent down on the ground and towards the confused girl and placed her forehead on hers. As she quickly pulled away she saw recognition spread across Historia's face for the hundredth time in what seemed like forever for her old friend. Sina smiled down at her. Bent down on the ground next to her and began complementing her on how well she was reading.

_Tch_... "Oh... your nose is running again. Here... blow," she said, placing a handkerchief against her nose, "well done..."

"Hey..."

"Hmm?"

"What dose it mean to "be a lady?" the little girl asked, looking up at her through wide eyes.

Sina paused for an instant before reaching into her bag and pulling out a book, turing to a page that showed a girl offering an apple to a ugly beast. A book form her childhood.

Always wear a mask. Be a gentle lady on the outside and help everyone out. But be ready to turn it into a warrior at a moments notice. That was what Sina's words to the girl hid.

But more often then not Historis did not understand what she meant.

"Then... I want to become a girl like you..."

"...What...?"

"Can I grow up to be a girl like you?"

Sina felt her body harden and her breath turn cold at the girl's seemingly innocent comment. And she looked down at the child of her mother's rapist, her all most would be still born sister nearly born in a long ago and misty age. Sina felt herself becoming revolted as the child continued to hang onto her. She wanted to shout to her that she could never hope to be a person like her. Beat her, scream into her ears for all she had put her mother through. For causing her father much a sleepless night and Grisha much stress to find a way to help his friends through this. But... she held the small girl closer to her heart, telling it to her gently, softly, and politly as she could through her bitter tears, and erased her Historia's memory back to the moments before she had come to her. She would not know her, just her words she had spoken to her.

Looking back at the confused girl as she hid amongst the hey stacks trying to understand who that girl she had seen climbing over the fence had been, Sina wondered once more why she was doing this. Why she was helping the girl that she so hated. If anything she knew that it was because she just wanted her father to be happy again. She wanted light of hope to shine once again in Annie's eyes like she had seen when she was born. For Bertholdt to stop worrying. For Reiner to relax. And for Carlos and Grisha to...

How she missed them all... With every fiber of her being she _missed_ them all. She didn't care even if she was just being used. It would have saved this world. Sina sighed heavily as she felt her wispy body being pulled upwards as if in a strong current of something between air and water. And soon, once again, she was nothing but a passed memory.

...

...

Wakening up to the thick, hot and dry Utah desert air. Chastity had no idea why she felt so angry and so sad. But she looked around at all of her ill conceived siblings and she knew the reason why.


End file.
